Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there. I thought I’d  meditate on my mom a little bit. I think I’ve posted all this before in other places, but it’s what I’m thinking about this Mother’s Day, so there you go. I’ve posted this photo before, too, but I love to remember the time this was taken. We went down to Ocean City, NJ, where we met up with a bunch of friends and went to see Arlo at the Music Pier there and hung out around the boardwalk for a couple of days. I don’t remember exactly what year it was, but I do know it was the last big thing we did together and I’m so glad she decided to come along on that trip. When she was feeling like herself she was up for anything. Actually, one of the things that made her last year or so so hard was that she believed she was still up for anything but it was simply no longer true.


Mom died at the age of 85 – which is fantastic for her side of the family – in 2006.  I can tell you exactly what day she started her decline into dementia. It was Election Night, 2004. We had to call 911 and spent much of the night at the ER as she had the first and most likely the worst of a whole lot of mini-strokes which first took her short term memory and then took away more and more brain functions, including some that keep you alive. That Election Night is what did it.  God, she hated Bush. Every time she regained consciousness she asked about the Election and insisted that it could be a mistake and we could all wake up and found that Kerry had actually won.

How I wish she could have held on at least until the Democrats took Congress in 2006. And if she could have voted for Obama and seen him elected, well, she could have gone with the feeling that the world had made some progress after all, instead of going downhill and backwards with astonishing speed. It would have made her truly happy. Anyway, I miss her. I don’t think that you ever really get over missing people that are gone. I think you just learn to co-exist with the inevitable losses that life brings.


  1. Happy Mother's Day to you. I am sorry you don't have your mother with you any longer. I can understand what you are feeling. I will be dealing with it on Father's Day.. I lost my dad just over a year ago.

    You try to enjoy your day though.. I hope you will have a good one anyway and rest and relax.

  2. Happy Mother's Day. I think our moms have some things in common--she was no fan of Bush, either, though it was my father's unexpected death that really seemed to push her from forgetfulness to full blown dementia. Nonetheless, having grown up in segregated Washington D.C., and hating "the stupid system" from the first time she rode on a city bus and couldn't understand why she couldn't sit with an African American woman who worked for her mother, she couldn't have been more thrilled to go and pull the lever for Obama. And, actually, the photo of your mom with Arlo (wow...the last time I saw him his hair was still all dark) reminds me that, a week before the election, I took my mom to see Joan Baez (who was clearly looking forward to pulling that lever as well...).

  3. Happy Mother's Day to you, my friend.

    I feel your loss. My mother passed away on Mother's Day in 2003. Ever since then this has not been one of my favorite days. I do miss her so much. I think I need to go put up a post.

  4. What a great picture! I bet she loved Arlo. What a great memory of your last big thing together.